Untitled: Archive

The Importance of Chocolate

I REMEMBER BARRY! I think nice and happy is a Barry thing. One of my favourite co-workers of all time’s name was Barry, He was in his forties, tiny, with long curly hair, glasses, roller skates, and was a DJ at Skateville to “Compensate for his boring office job”

Mar 1st

1 note

I have come to the conclusion that I make checking expiration dates, at four in the morning, look glamorous.

Jul 7th

The thing I most like about typing instead of talking is that you can’t mispronounce anything, even though when you talk you can’t have typos…

Jun 22nd

After much myspace blog searching...

And after I FINALLY remembered my password… The Little Lumber Jill Once upon a time there was a little lumber Jill who loved to chop down trees and slice wood. One day someone came to her house and asked her to chop some wood. That made the little lumber Jill very happy when she finish the chopping and slicing they paid her. So she went back home to chop more wood. While chopping...

Apr 19th

Actually it was just "The little lumber Jill"

And why?…

Apr 19th

Life is good!

I think I may have found an excellent new home! It involves my favourite unrelated family, little to no rent, and a simple transfer to a different Walgreen’s. Thank god for best friends, eh?

Apr 13th

You are boring

And we never talk anymore. Please remedy this problem. In happy news, my skin is growing back!

Mar 1st

Make a circle like this...

zombiehat: In regards to the photos: I had a birthday. I mostly sat in bed, coughing up green phlegm and hatin’ on stuff. My sister came over to bug me and we ate food and I took a picture of her playing her stomach. Oh, and that flower, is tea. Um, thanks. I love you too. didn’t you ask me how to spell phlegm?

Feb 28th

1 note

Oh, Brother where art thou?! →

You should probably show this to dad… get cracking on that worm farming!

Feb 21st

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29058471/wid/11915829/ →

Feb 20th

“Friday 2-6: I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am getting hungry...”

– Medical Anthropology professor

Feb 7th

Just one addition...

“Stephanie Reiss decides that the lack of prizes in cereal boxes is not really an issue worth his time.” AH! MY NATION THINKS I AM A GUY!!!

Jan 26th

1 note

And this is why I am better off sleeping past...

First I went for breakfast, which was relatively normal, except that the normally very spunky woman who works there was in a sour mood. Then I waited in the cold for the bus. And waited. And waited. Then I heard an odd noise sounding uncannily like what a velociraptor sounds like… it took me a while to discover it was a crow, and it was watching me from a tree and it kept making that very...

Jan 26th

Friend: Why did you put that sheep on my filing cabinet?
Me: I didn't put that sheep on your filing cabinet.
Friend: Yes, you did.
Me: No, I didn't. 
Friend: Yes, you did.
Me: No, I didn't. Did you see me?
Friend: No, but I know it was you.
Me: Why would I do that?
 Looking back, I really don't see why that was so funny, except that I really don't remember putting that sheep on her filing cabinet.

Jan 20th

The Pigeon Comes and Leves (First grade writing...

One day a pigeon came to our house. My mom opened the garage the pigeon went in the garage. That pigeon is fat. We can get pretty close to it. She is cool. But there is one problem: What? We do not now where she will live. I think she left a minute ago. My sister said to put the pigeon in the bird’s cage. The pigeon is pretty tome**. Her name is dimond. I like her a lot. That pigeon is...

Jan 18th

But the worms were not sleeping.

Jan 18th

Jan 17th

1 note

Lifesaver rolls, despite looking like quarter rolls, are not meant to be opened by slamming it against a counter’s edge. It will not open but will instead result in the breaking of candies.

Jan 16th

Maybe I should take a few more classes...

I’m almost certain that going to school is just my coverup story so that I can add textbooks and fun novels to my personal library. Yay for having to get 20 books for one semester of classes! As compared to the seven books from last semester nine if you include the study book and the historical atlas from my history class… ten if you include the Oceanography textbook that I ordered but...

Jan 15th

A man with a hook came into Walgreens yesterday. Not really a hook, I guess more like hook shaped pinchers. I was kind of jealous. Also I am pretty sure a stripper came in… the main thing that stuck out was that she gave me forty dollars in single bills, first thought was “Are you freaking kidding me? I have to recount all that?!” Second thought was “At least it is better...

Jan 11th

I am having difficulties.

zombiehat: That Hallmark card with the glitter, and vellum page inlay and embossed details must have cost a million dollars. I feel sinful for tossing it out. But I do not want it. I also do not want that fancy, scented body wash. Or the pants that do not fit. Or that re-gift. But they are mine now. This is why we invented charity and recylcing. Also, this is why I do not care for holidays. I...

Jan 8th

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7811686.stm →

Jan 7th

Wait, what?

I was supposed to call you back? Smorgasbordt is Swedish minus the proper accents (Smörgåsbord) koldtbord is Norwegian; Amerikansk hummer is an American Lobster I finally got the smell of garlic out of my room… and then I ordered a pizza… with extra garlic sauce EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE!!!!! (hahaha)

Jan 3rd

To Do:

Cash that massive check from work Buy fruit Buy veggies Wake up at a good time Go to Lakeville Do stuff

Jan 2nd

Watch

LAUNDRY!

Jan 2nd

Dec 31st

I GOT QUOTED!

“(After Steph shows me a picture of bread that looks like D-cup breasts and saying the blogger and her share a dad) Me: “Your dad made D-cup bread?” Steph: “It was an accident, I’m sure.” Me: “…yes, surely…accidental…” Steph: “Right, well, my dad is a transvestite and silicon breasts are too expensive, so he bakes...

Dec 30th

Dearest Brother,

Life without constant internet kinda sorta really sucks… a lot, seeing as it is always below freezing a ten minute walk to use internet seems excessive and unnecessary I’d rather pay the $41.00 per month to get high speed internet back in the house… or maybe I will bribe the neighbours to give me their password… it would be cheaper… or I could get a hacker to steal...

Dec 24th

Nov 18th

You brought happiness to my day

And I appreciate that, I appreciate you. How does that make you feel?

Nov 10th

Help us Paul, you're our only hope!

For the full story consult the amazing Stalker Mom. 1. Colouring with Crayola Brand crayon to John Denver brings happiness. 2. Baba cool’s are awesome. 3. Bloomington has many smokers 4. Walgreens is the best place to learn about new cigarettes 5. I can’t think of a five 6. Yes, Dear Brother, the title is a ‘New Hope’ reference

Oct 26th

I tried to get lost

It didn’t work, I managed to get home when I wanted to.

Oct 22nd

Lamb? Really?

Yes, that is right. For the very first time ever I want to try and eat it. What brought this on? I have no idea, you tell me. I really want to know. I think I just really want soup and roasts. Lentil sounds great too. And just as a side note: Goat meat is still scary.

Oct 21st

Dear Favourite,

Did I really say that? I simply can’t remember.

Oct 20th

We are building a biodome on the moon

Wanna come?

Oct 18th

Oct 16th

Oct 14th

lalala

School does not want me to sleep, does it? Next time I register my first class will not be until 11 am or 10… I think I can handle 10, yes? Bag of Hammers by Thao is happiness. I want a week off having to do stuff, I want a vacation. After this essay, I think I will need a vacation. I need to learn to like coffee. I got a CD in the mail, it was the highlight of my weekend. I think I...

Oct 13th

Guilt and Grossness

I am going to pick up trash today for two reasons: 1. It is gross and needs to be done and I doubt that any other Bloomington citizen will do it. 2. The deer, ducks, caterpillars, and trees make me feel guilty.

Oct 9th

The layout of my last post is not changing

And that frustrates me immensely. My life in not very interesting right now, but when it becomes so I will let you know. Btw: Stalker mom missed our posts.

Oct 9th

Cucumbers are fruits, too

a.) 1. Ew. 2. Why were you looking at that? 3. Is there a purpose for the spikes? b.) 2. I typed 2 by accident 2. I like Astronomy 3. French is hard c.)1. Why? 2. What kind of bear? 3. Is your name Peter? Oh, wait that was a wolf. d.) 1. Did you see it fall? If yes read 2. If no read 3. 2. How many wishes do you think you could get? 3. How did you know that said pod fell from said...

Oct 9th

How to Find Your Soul mate*

Buy a stapler, find someone who has the same one. *Actual results may vary….

Oct 3rd

In celebration of my decision to make bad...

My name is now Rhonda. My hair colour is red. I will ask everyone who their guilt free three is. I pretend to not sleep. I will blow bubbles on the train.

Oct 2nd

“My glass is neither half full or half empty, I just have a damn glass!”

– Michael Naccache

Oct 2nd

The voice in my head is talking with a UK accent

That is a bit odd; maybe I need to lay off the youtube for a while…

Oct 1st

My mom doesn't like debates

They sound too much like fights: and that makes her feel uncomfortable.

Sep 29th

No, I am him.

I hate being sick. I have hope. Fluids and sleep. Woo.

Sep 27th